Washington DC – Secretary of Defense, Lloyd Austin, has just approved a new optional pink uniform for all soldiers who identify as either gay or transgender. The new uniform will be rolled out in early March, according to an Army spokesman.
When asked about the practicality and usefulness of the new uniform, Secretary Austin had this to say:
“If our soldiers want to wear pink, so be it. It’s really not my taste, but who am I to judge? As long as it makes them happy and feel good, I think we’ve got a winner. And no, they will be not wearing pink uniforms on the battlefield. That would not work well at all. However, we are in talks with the Ralph Lauren people to hopefully have them design us some battle-ready uniforms that are more stylish. I wouldn’t mind seeing something in the rainbow family for our gay and transgender soldiers, but that’s just me. I’ll let the professionals do the heavy lifting.”
In other news, legendary soldier, John Rambo, was last seen laying on some nearby railroad tracks muttering to himself.
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