Biden Changes President’s Day to George Floyd Day!

Washington DC – President Biden has announced that he is replacing President’s Day with George Floyd Day. In a brief speech on the White House lawn, Biden said:

“For too long, we have celebrated our forefathers who were slaveholders. It’s time we change that. It’s time we rid this country of our horrendous past and celebrate regular Americans. Some are white, some are black, some are wife-beaters, and some are drug addicts. It doesn’t matter. We’ve all made mistakes. None of us are perfect. George Floyd was just such a man and he should be celebrated!

I am tired of this country honoring white men who were educated, admired, pious, successful, moral, just, and leaders in battle. I am tired of honoring white men who sacrificed everything just to start a country. They made a mistake and they must pay. History must reflect that they owned slaves and nothing else they did is worth mentioning, not even fighting to abolish slavery.

George Floyd was a slave. He was a slave to drugs, a slave to a broken system, a slave to his poor education, and a slave to the crimes he committed. He should be remembered as a hero because he accomplished…, I mean he did so much to…, he was black, and now he’s dead.

Let today always be remembered as George Floyd Day. A day where success, achievement, and sacrifice are never mentioned. Today is a day for all people to remember the drug-addicts and the criminals that make up our great nation. Thank you.”

Disclaimer: All articles on this website are satirical and in no way factual. Copyright 2022, 1791Times.com. All rights reserved, USSA News, LLC.