Washington DC – President Biden announced his new economic plan to stimulate the failing economy: Sell masks.
From the President’s speech yesterday at the White House:
“Look, I know the economy’s having a bad day, but it’s only transitory. The best thing we can do right now is to give the people what they need. And by ‘give,’ I mean ‘sell.’ We all have to do our part, so as of today, I am authorizing every American who has the ability to sell masks to supplement their income.
Look, it’s not that hard. You buy masks from China at a cheap price, and then sell them to your neighbors for five or even ten times the cost. To make it even easier, I’ve mandated that every American wear a mask for the next three years, so finding customers will not be a problem.
This additional revenue stream will supplement your federal and state welfare income while offsetting the increasingly higher prices of everyday goods and services. You can easily make an extra $20 or $30 a month if you sell about 1,000 masks in that same time period.
C’mon man, get off your butts and sell, sell, sell. And don’t forget those mask sales are taxable.
Is it nap time yet, Mommy? Ooh, pudding!”
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