Biden Sells Alaska Back to Russia. Demands Cheap Oil.

Washington DC – President Biden announced Friday that he sold Alaska back to Russia for an undisclosed price well below fair-market value. When asked about the sale of our largest state, the president had this to say:

“Look, we need the oil and we don’t need Alaska. There’s nothing up there but ice and trees. Nobody important lives there. And besides, I refuse to drill for oil on American soil so by selling Alaska back to Russia, we get the best of both world’s. One, we get some of Putin’s money for the land. Two, we get Russia’s oil. Three, we’re not drilling on American soil. It’s a win-win. C’mon man, use you’re heads.”

Biden plans on having talks with Mexico and Texans next week.

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