Biden Threatens Putin with “Severe Consequences.” Putin Falls Down Laughing!

Moscow – President Biden threatened Vladimir Putin with “severe consequences” if Putin decides to invade Ukraine. The Russian leader reportedly heard this and laughed himself out of his chair. 

Putin had this to say once he regained his breath and stopped laughing:

“Dis Biden very funny man. What he threaten me with, his dirty diaper? Or maybe his nurse come here. She come here and point her finger at me. Ooh, very scary.

Your president not let people get on plane to fly home because of sniffle. Dis president have no marbles. Better he eat pudding than make joke at mighty Russia. When he know where he is, tell president he make me laugh so hard. Send Trump here too. I need America’s last real man to play chess with.

Alexi, send in tanks. Oh, look out for American girlie-men soldiers. They may want to make sex with you or make you food. Maybe they throw snowballs at you. Very scary. Dank you.”

Disclaimer: All articles on this website are satirical and in no way factual. Copyright 2022, All rights reserved, USSA News, LLC.