Brown M&M Admits He’s Transexual, and Proves it! (NSFW)

Los Angeles – Mars Wrigley, the company behind the famed M&Ms candy, has finally outdone themselves. In a press release Friday, a spokesman for the company unveiled the true identity of Brown M&M. He is of course, transexual.

In this era of “wokism,” it’s no surprise to see transexuals and gays everywhere, but for Brown M&M to strip down and show us his “hard outer shell,” is just a bit much. We asked Brown M&M about his coming out. Following is his statement:

“Man, I’ve been hiding this way too long! Being a woman was just part of the acting gig, at first, but then I started to like it. The high heels were sexy. But at some point, I just gotta be me, and I’m proud of who I am and what I’ve got. Just look at my chocolate bar! Who wouldn’t be proud of that? Flaunt it if ya got it, honey!”

LGBT people (@IhaveNoLife) applauded the decision for Brown M&M to come out, but seemed miffed that their were no other, “queers in the bag.” 

Parents everywhere renounced Halloween and crossed it of off their calendars forever. Both Skittles and Goobers were seen running for the hills.

 

Disclaimer: All articles on this website are satirical and in no way factual. Copyright 2022, 1791Times.com. All rights reserved, USSA News, LLC.