CEO of CNN, Jeff Zucker, Out Over Affair! Lands Internship at Fox News!

New York – Disgraced CEO of CNN, Jeff Zucker, has resigned over being caught having an affair with his underling, Allison G.

It was reported today the the pair both had separate apartments in the same ritzy Manhattan building, which apparently was much too expensive for the young PR Manager to afford. This affair was no secret in the halls of CNN though. Many CNN employees joked about the pair behind their backs while at work. For example, one anonymous CNN employee said:

“I guess anyone could look good enough to have sex with when you have that much money.” We’re unsure of who the target of that joke was.

Not long after Zucker’s resignation, he called a Fox News representative and begged for a job. After a brief back and forth, Zucker was offered an unpaid internship on a trial basis. He will be answering directly to Tucker Carlson, and most likely, retrieving Carlson’s coffee.

We asked Zucker why he joined Fox News and his reply was surprising:

“I know I’ve made mistakes, and I can admit that. Now I want to correct another one. I want to do real news for a change, not the fake news comedy crap over at CNN. My bosses over there cared about promoting their agenda, and that’s what I did, with zeal I might add. But I think now is the time to try and do some genuine reporting on real news events. Hopefully, in the future, I’ll be able to work my way up the ranks and be Tucker’s full-time assistant.”

We asked Tucker Carlson for a comment but he just choked on his coffee with a grin.

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