China Leads USA in Olympic Gold Medals 24-1. Swalwell Judge for all Events…for China!

Beijing – The disgraced California Congressman, Eric “Bang-Fang Farticus Maximus” Swalwell (D), has taken a break from politics to be a judge at the 2022 Winter Olympics for China. Not surprisingly, China is leading the US in gold medals, 24-1.

We spoke to an Olympic judge about Swalwell’s presence and his ability to judge fairly. Here’s what Bang-Bang had to say:

“He good judge. Very fair. His egg roll very small. He smell funny. We fair in China. We let American judge for China. He want nothing. Only want more Bang-Bang. He good judge. No more Szechuan Broccoli. Too much smell.”

Swalwell was unavailable for comment due to the guards surrounding his hotel room. Only Chinese women were allowed to see him. The last one was seen entering his room with antibiotics.

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