Democrats Enlist Stroke Victims as Candidates for Winning Election Strategy!

Washington DC – The Democrats have a new strategy they’re using to beat Republicans in the upcoming elections. Running stroke victims. As odd as it sounds, it seems to be working.

President Biden has had several strokes and won the presidency, beating the incumbent, Donald Trump, with over 81 million votes (LOL).

Now we have the Michael Symon lookalike and Democrat, John Fetterman, another stroke victim. Fetterman never had a job and was supported by his parents until age 50. At age 53, Fetterman has already had at least one stroke and can barely string a sentence together, yet somehow he is leading the impressive Dr. Oz in the polls.

We asked a Democratic strategist about this new phenomenon of running stroke victims as candidates:

“People like underdogs, they like victims. Who’s a bigger underdog than a man who licks his palm, picks his nose, and can’t put a sentence together? Yeah, we’ll win the election alright, but sooner or later people will need to realize that the people they elect will actually have to work and run the country. Running a country is especially hard when you start drooling on bills.”

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