Fauci: You Can Stop Wearing Your Masks if you do this One Thing…

Washington DC – Dr. Anthony Fauci has finally relaxed the nationwide mask mandate. We asked Fauci what changed his mind:

“It’s funny, I was watching the football games last week, and up pops Eric Garcetti, the LA mayor.

A photo was taken of him with Magic Johnson at the game and he wasn’t wearing a mask (see below):

I thought, that’s strange. In fact, I was enraged, to be perfectly honest.

Then I read later in the paper that he was actually holding his breath for the photo. That was the lightbulb moment. That’s when it hit me.

We can all stop wearing masks if we hold our breaths! A stroke of genius, really.”

We asked Dr. Fauci how these new “maskless” rules would apply in the real world. He emailed us the list below:

Rules for Holding your Breath while Being Maskless:

Hold your breath…

  • within six feet of another person,
  • when walking to your seat in a restaurant,
  • when driving if the windows are closed,
  • during sex,
  • when playing with pets,
  • while exercising.

Note: If you pass out, you are allowed to breathe for up to two minutes once you regain consciousness. The rules will still apply after the two minute window has expired.

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