New York – Last week, elderly shock jock, Howard Stern, was diagnosed with Eccentric Karen Syndrome (EKS).
According to St John’s Medical Center, EKS is a disorder in which:
“…the afflicted has pronounced signs of narcissism, neuroses, and incompetence. The patient is compelled to tell others what to do with no signs of logic or compassion being present.
The patient also believes that they are better than everyone else in the world at everything, despite being mediocre at best. In the later stages of EKS, the patient fails to see irony, humor, and lacks any common sense whatsoever.
If left untreated, EKS will develop into full-blown Kravitz Paranoia Syndrome (KPS) with the patient losing all sense of reality and ultimately dying within weeks of the diagnosis.”
Doctors diagnosed Stern after he said the following during an on-air rant:
“When are we gonna stop putting up with the idiots in this country and just say it’s mandatory to get vaccinated? Fuck ’em. Fuck their freedom,” Stern said. “I want my freedom to live. I want to get out of the house already. I want to go next door and play chess. I want to go take some pictures.”
His longtime sidekick, former nurse, Robin Quivers, was asked about Howard and his diagnosis:
“It’s a shame really. Howard should have gotten the EKS vaccine long ago, but it wasn’t mandatory. Now he has to avoid everyone and stay at home so he doesn’t spread it to others. Ironically, all he wanted was his freedom by having the rest of the world vaccinated and wearing masks. Now alone, he’s the one who should’ve gotten the vaccine and worn the mask. He could have had the freedom he so desperately wanted by being enslaved by the government’s rules and mandates. Irony of ironies.”
Baba-Booey was said to be finally enjoying life away from the, “Missing Ramone with a small penis.”
Below is a picture of Patient Zero, Mrs. Kravitz, for whom Kravitz Paranoia Syndrome (KPS) was named.
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