San Francisco – Dr. Jane Goodall, 88, announced yesterday that she is coming out of retirement to study liberals in their natural habitat. Goodall sees a need in the world of education that no one is fulfilling. In her own words:
“Liberals have become increasingly hostile over the past few years and this is the best time to study them.
Notice their use of brightly colored war decorations, metal bar face piercings, and hostile attitudes towards the civilized world. This is very curious behavior that needs to be studied.
Additionally, much like some reptiles and amphibians, they have the ability to change their gender, almost at will; although, other species that do this do it for the reason of mating and perpetuating the species. Liberals don’t appear to have this behavior. Very curious indeed.
This is a very exciting time in the world of anthropology. I cannot wait to get started. It will be interesting for me to try and blend in and go unnoticed. Thank you.”
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