Joe Biden Named Father of the Year! Honors Kids with New Laws!

Washington DC – It was announced yesterday that Joe Biden has won the Father of the Year Award. In recognition of this prize, Biden plans to enact new laws with the help of a Democrat-controlled congress.

For the record, Joe Biden has three kids, Beau, Ashley, and Hunter. Beau died of brain cancer, Ashley had a diary that alleged inappropriate showers with her father, and Hunter loves his crack and hookers.

Listed below are the new laws Biden is proposing:

  • Hunter’s Law – Free crack and crack pipes for everyone,
  • Hunter and Joe’s Law – $1 million from Ukraine for everyone over the age of 18,
  • Hunter and Joe’s Other Law – Underage strippers and hookers on-demand for everyone,
  • Ashley’s Law – A ban on private diaries,
  • Beau’s Law – Brain cancer for anyone who disobeys.

We asked Hunter about his father’s new proposed laws. He had the following to say:

“Pass the pipe, oh, right, laws. Well the big guy is really smart. He’s president so…what’s wrong with crack and hookers? People deny these things in public but really want them behind closed doors. Dad’s just helping that come true. You know, bringing that out in the open. Who wouldn’t want more money? Hand me that lighter. Thanks.

Anyway, look at me. I’m a millionaire and I never did a day of work in my life! I get all the drugs and hookers I want. Living the dream, man. Living the dream. Joe knows what people want.

No diaries either. Can’t keep secrets like that. People will start believing it’s true. Things like that can’t be written down. Hey, is my laptop back from the shop yet?”

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