Joe Biden’s Speech on his One Year Anniversary as President

Washington DC – Yesterday, President Biden made only his second public appearance alone in an entire year. He delivered a speech, “he wrote himself.” President Biden loudly whispered through most of the speech; however, brief moments were peppered with uncontrollable screaming. Following is the transcript of his speech:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth, upon this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that “all men are created equal.” End of page.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity. Is it pudding time yet? End of page.

General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe, if you seek liberalization, come here to this gate. Mr. Gorbachev, open this gate! Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

Thank you and blueberries for all, and to all it’s nap time! End of transcript.

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