New York – Jussie Smollett, the would-be assassin of Jussie Smollett, has been released from prison and finally been given the chance to embark on his music career. Smollett will begin rapping in NYC next month on Broadway where it will be him and a bunch of electronic equipment on stage to make him sound better.
Word has spread quickly of his musical genius and Smollett has already been nominated and inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of fame without rapping a single note.
Smollett’s mother had this to say about her son’s talent:
“Jussie’s always been a good boy. He’s been rapping to himself for 20 years. He sounds just as good as Bob Dylan or John Hinckley. Maybe even better. I’m glad he’s in the Liberal, er, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. You really don’t want to get him upset.”
The venue is scheduled to have metal, rope, and bleach detectors with seating for five.
The band members of Foreigner, the only band in the world to not be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, were said to have committed mass suicide via hanging and bleach consumption. Subway sandwich wrappers were found nearby, strewn about the room.
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