Stacey Abrams Makes Sports Illustrated Cover. People Going Blind!

Atlanta – The tubby porn writer and delusional woman who thinks she’s governor of Georgia, Stacey Abrams, has been slapped on the cover of the 2022 swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated. (Apparently, Sports Illustrated is under some sort of delusion as well.)

We caught up with Ms. Abrams and asked her what this means and how she got here. Here’s what she had to say:

“I’ve always been a sassy black woman. I know I’m hot, now everyone else does too! And I did play sports in high school, so I have every right to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Back then, Sumo Wrestling wasn’t considered a sport, but thanks to me, fat women everywhere are now athletes.

That’s right, you know you want some of this, honey. Mmm hmm! Come to Mama and get some.”

We showed the cover of this issue to various men on the street. One threw-up and two went blind.

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